You do flush your toilet everyday, right? Of course! Why would you want to accumulate days, much less weeks or years of crap?
The decision to forgive is like the decision to flush your toilet. Instead of standing around and pondering the crap in your life, much less letting it accumulate so you have more reasons to be disgusted with your spouse, flush/forgive it quickly, repeatedly and every day.
Unless you develop a habit of ready forgiveness, you are accumulating crap. That can only hurt you and your relationships.
What exactly is forgiveness? It is a state of mind in which one ceases to feel any anger or bitterness toward another person, especially regarding a specific real or perceived offense.
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No matter how many apologies are made, my wife hangs onto resentments like her most valuable possessions.
My counselor tells me they ARE her most valuable possessions. Her resentments are what she uses to justify all of her anger, all of her bitterness, all of her insistence that everything is my fault, and that I “owe her” anything she demands. In that same vein, she is quick to forget all that I have done for her, dismisses all my efforts to please her, and insists I “owe her” more because her pile of resentments is undiminished.
She purports to be a Christian. But how can her heart not tremble when she prays “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us?”
If she is so slow, or even unwilling, to give forgive, is she not telling God to be just as unforgiving to her as she is to me? I truly worry for her soul.