Your spouse’s opinions may change over time, but seldom because you have lectured, pressed, insisted or demanded his or her conformity with your opinion. It is far more likely that your spouses opinion, or yours, will change simply by being aware of each others views and being open to allowing those views, and others one […]
Extraordinary Reasons for Sexual Problems in Marriage
Every marriage goes through cycles of intimacy. Sometimes we will feel close to each other and yearn for ever more emotional, physical, and spiritual intimacy. At other times, we will feel that we are drifting apart. If the drift apart becomes too severe, we may actually begin resent our spouse’s efforts to renew and […]
When a History of Sexual Abuse Impacts Marital Intimacy
Trust is vital to marital intimacy. Unfortunately, sometimes through no major fault of a spouse, trust may be lost — or at least buried–beneath feelings of anxiety, fear, or even an emotional shut down. Why? Because past hurts caused by other people can become mentally associated with one’s spouse. Once these links are made, even […]
Love is Verb, Not a Noun. A Choice, Not a Chemistry.
Many people are looking for “chemistry” in their love lives. They want someone who stirs up their feelings of admiration, attraction, and desire. It’s like they want to be handed a surprise gift. A neat little package containing all of the feelings we associate with love, especially the way “true love” and “love at first […]
Wanted: Leaders not Tyrants — What Women Want in Men and How They Can More Likely Get It
Women are attracted to confident men. Indeed, confidence is the most commonly listed quality women report wanting in men. Moreover, even the physical characteristics of an attractive man are ones which suggest manly confidence, strength, and an ability to lead. On some level, this sign of confidence also reflects an ability to protect, provide, and […]
Marital Expectations — Ingredients for Marital Intimacy
Be wary of stereotypes. They often hold elements of truth, but not the whole truth. Stereotypes about men and women, for example, may be helpful starting points in discussions because there are true differences in men and women. On the other hand, since there is so much variation between individuals, both men and […]
Unconditional Love. What is Your Unilateral Promise to Your Spouse?
Marriage vows are intended to bind us to our spouse even and especially when we no longer feel like we want to be together, much less bound together. Marriage vows are a reminder that promise to love someone is an act of the will, a decision to bind one’s will to the process of trying as […]